I was born and raised as a Baha’i. However, I was about five when I told my parents for the first time I wasn’t a Baha’i. We were driving home from Baha’i school, and I remember turning to my mom and saying to her, I’m not going to be a Baha’i when I grow up. She looked at me, and said, we will see. It has been over 25 years now, and here I am, not a Baha’i. I was about 16 when I really started to question everything, and was quite open about it with my family.
When you read the writings of Baháʼu’lláh it is quite clear he believed, and taught his followers to investigate the truth on their own. This was actually one of the only redeeming things I took from my time being raised in the faith. Individual investigation was a key component in my upbringing back in the 90’s and early 2000’s, maybe it isn’t anymore, and if so, I am so very sorry to hear that.
Once you begin your own individual investigation, there will be things you will learn that will make your worry of “what if” subside. You will learn, especially if you investigate A Lost History of the Baha’i Faith, written by none other than Baháʼu’lláh’s second eldest son, and his grandson, that the faith is built on lies. In the book Shua Ullah Behai, Baha’u’llah’s grandson, tells his, and his fathers side of the story. It reviels, not a hateful people, but a sad and hurt one. They clearly not only loved, but believed to their core in what Baha’u’llah taught. They were, after all, his direct family. Not once, is there a single nasty word put forth towards Baha’u’llah, or even Abdu’l-Bahá. Shoghi Effendi on the other hand… They didn’t really like him.
Shoghi Effendi’s parents and brother who were excommunicated for petty reasons
For me, there is no way a religion that is riddled with hate, deceit, and manipulation can be from Pure Love. How can it be? How can the (supposed) most holy family be an example for all of humanity to follow, when it is full of deceit? It is a cycle that started with Baha’u’llah, and his brother. Sadly never clearing up, and being passed down to Abdu’l-Baha, and his brother Mírzá Muhammad-‘Alí, and indeviably to the Baha’is themselves.
